Sandy & Fred’s Wedding Ceremony

Against a dramatic Rocky Mountain vista, two riders meet on horseback. Fred is a true equestrian from the hills of Virginia, and a dapper single father.

Sandy, bedecked with flowers and radiant as only a bride can be, is a single mom and director of the Satir Institute of the Rockies.

Their friends and family are there, moist-eyed and smiling, as the couple dismounts and stands before the preacher and justice of the peace…

MIKE: (the Justice)
Sandy & Fred have found in each other a sense of shared purpose and joy, and a love so strong that they wish to join their lives.  It is their intent in committing to this marriage that they will deepen the love & respect and continue to grow together.

Sandy & Fred, relationships grow when they are held in the light of conscious and clearly stated commitments.   You have agreed you are not entering into this marriage for reasons of security.  Real security is not in owning or possessing; not in demanding, expecting or even hoping that what you need in life will be supplied by the other.  Rather, security exists in knowing that everything you need in life, all the love, wisdom, insight, power, understanding, nurturing, compassion, and all the strength, resides within yourself.  You have agreed you are entering into this marriage, not in hopes of getting these things, but rather in hopes of giving these gifts.  Your marriage is designed to bring to fruition in each of you the qualities of consciousness, compassion and equanimity.

Fred, will you take Sandy to be your life partner, your companion, your lover, your wife?  Will you love her, honor her and comfort her, in steady companionship, in joy and in sorrow?
[He then asks the same of Sandy]

 The Couple  Vows
I will. 
I promise to love and honor you above all others,
To share my life openly with you,
To be the most intimate witness of your life without possessing or directing it,
To be faithful to you and always truthful to you,
To encourage and support you in realizing your dreams, and
To walk with you on a spiritual path toward consciousness, compassion and equanimity.
I stand here in the spirit of giving.
I will be honored to be your [husband/wife].

(Mike presents the rings)
These rings represent the eternal circle of life, no beginnings and all beginnings, no endings and all endings.  They create a sacred space symbolizing your union, to be worn upon your hands for all to see.

(Fred and Sandy)
I give you this ring as the pledge of my love and as the symbol of our unity.

 (Mike – pronouncement)
Sandy & Fred, you have come together in the presence of these witnesses to make a marriage commitment.  You have received the support & blessings of all present; you have exchanged vows and rings.  I now pronounce you husband & wife.
(smo-o-o-o-o-ch)

(Mike– The Benediction of the Apaches)
“Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will shelter the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness for you, now there is no more loneliness.
Now you are two bodies, but there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place, to enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth!”

In this wedding ceremony, the "Circles sculpt" offers a way for everyone present to be a participant in the ceremony, not just an observer. It invites each guest to commit to being a support to this couple, to help cement the union and to create a "village" for it. All the guests have the opportunity to feel a vital part of the union that has formed and to see their place in the union.

The wedding ritual of the "Circles sculpt" is possible through Satir's therapeutic tool of sculpting.  In her sessions, she had her clients leave their seats to take positions in the room in relation to each other to make system dynamics seen and felt, not just talked about. Participating in a sculpt gives each individual an experiential, whole person (body, mind, and soul) experience.

(Kate- invites family and guests into the Circle Sculpt)
With the joining of Sandy and Fred as a couple, a new family, a new community has been formed. You are all a part of this new tribe and as such, let us come together in a physical sculpture of the village of Sandy and Fred.

First Circle: Sandy, Fred, and each of their children. This is the new blended family formed by the marriage of these two. Jeremy, Jessica, Greg and Brad, please look upon your new brothers and sister.

Second Circle: the mothers in the middle. From these women, this family has descended. You are the matriarchs. Please take a moment to bless your children and their family.

Third Circle: The brothers, sisters and their partners. These are the aunts and uncles, Fun givers and space keepers for this union.

Fourth Circle: The cousins. You are the future, the upcoming generation. Give hope and learn well.

Fifth and Sixth Circles: The friends. You are the scaffolding, the community house within which this couple resides. You are the fields and the stables where Fred and Sandy will ride like the wind and in whom they will come to rest.

The love we feel for one another, whether as couples, friends, family or simply fellow travelers on this path of life, serves as the thread that binds us all together. As Sandy and Fred formally weave their bright strands into this community heart today, may we each be reminded of our own loving bonds and rededicate ourselves to love in all our relations.

If you will, make a pathway for the bridal couple to pass before you….

(The bride and groom part through the radius of the circles, followed by each of the inner circles….)